My Blue Velvet - Breathing You In - Saying the Words

Inspired write from another syneasthete - February is Syneasthesia Month (for my birthday) I will be interviewed and sharing the spotlight with Joseph Zeppardo and Shannon Lyons (if all goes well) - I'll announce it here.

Sitting here listening to a cacophony of melodies telling me what my story is. ALONE, the color one sees when they close their eyes with a faint fever developing beneath long feathery lashes - Lips a shade of coral blush that tastes like sweet honey fresh from the hive.

OMG yes, I'm a words person - Certain words especially have such a luxurious and beautiful velvet color - Metaphor is a midnight blue and I want to reach out and touch it. Lucidity is a word that changes color as you move it with the light. When someone calls me "Your Grace" I feel it in my bones and it feels soft, like kiss - just close enough that I can feel his breath against my cheek as he withdraws and offers his hand to cup my face, I become weak and feel the faint feeling of falling under... touch me, o so gently... this fragile face sculpted by years of laughter and pain - I always wonder when it will begin again.

Be gentle and please don't let go - the shattered pieces splintered across the floor, yet, I will risk it all and ask for more. Whisper "your Grace" and look deeply into my eyes. What do you see there? It waits for you and it waits for me - look further, go into the abyss and let your hands feel their way, between each buss against my face and every breath taken with each touch, let me exist between those moments between each kiss.

Yes, you might say she makes more of a kiss than it needs to be - but, you see, I can only breathe the passion in when you close your eyes and offer your breathing out. Breathing out, into me. Breathing out, you draw me in and as you breathe out you set me free.

If I am awakened from this dream, whisper "slowly, slowly" so I know not rush it and lose the feeling along the way - if I remain in the midst of realities moving inside of my reveries, catch each breath and synchronize yours with mine. 

Nothing can move me to tears as quickly or as easily as imagining it as true, this awakening, this sleeping, falling under feeling myself coming alive while I fall into an ethereal sleep... turning over and over and I feel myself falling, knowing that you cannot catch me if you are not real.

I will surely hear the words "Your Grace" and I will forget this place, I will feel your lips against mine only to know what it feels like to be divine - your hand cups my face, quickly now, before it's too late - wake me gently, easy now, feeling your breath, warm against my cheek - I cannot put an end to something that will never begin - breathe life into me, gently now, easy, softly, one more kiss and let me have your breath before I give you mine and we both fall to the ground so hard that we break into pieces, shards of our intentions will never make it all new... I have the memory - the dream began and ended, your kiss gave me hope, your voice whispering "I'll catch you if you fall", became my weakness. You weren't paying attention, you let go, you allowed me to awaken, you didn't know your breath was the last one I have taken, the truth is written on the floor, "She existed somewhere between realities and fantasies." You let go, forgot to wake me gently, your breath was my last as I slipped through, - the truth was never you, it always belonged to me - this is what it will always be - you kissing me gently and whispering "softly, now - softly", hold me close and so carefully let me go - I am breaking. I am waking.

M TERESA CLAYTON

All the things I desire remain my prison. I am a prisoner of my own lust filled imagination. But, if I close my eyes - I can experience it all as if it were real - not an imitation.

M TERESA CLAYTON